Touch Me In The Morning Read online

“That doesn’t make you a bad person,” he teased.

  When he saw her first sketch of him – when everyone did – there was general admiration and Damon smiled. “How did you draw me so well? I didn’t pose for you.”

  “I know how you look.” Did she ever.

  Father Michael left the party early, but Dave and Francesca stayed late. Damon, Aiden, and Dave played cards. Kendra fell asleep in front of the television and lay sprawled on the sofa. Heaven and Francesca half-watched television and half talked. In the middle of a conversation, Francesca gave her an odd smile.

  “What?”

  “Damon. You stare at him here like you do at the softball games.”

  “No, I don’t.” She felt her face heating.

  When Dave and Francesca finally left, the clock read 4:10. As Damon closed the door, Heaven felt lost. Aiden had gone home and they were alone, except for a sleeping Kendra.

  She decided to let him think about his birthday alone, so she turned and headed towards the staircase, but a hand shot out and grabbed her shoulder, whirling her around.

  Damon stood over her, gazing down with gentleness in his lime colored eyes.

  She swirled in his aura and caught her breath. “So – are you still angry at me?” she asked, batting her eyes at him in a deliberately flirtatious way.

  “Very. You had no right t-to plan something you know I didn’t want.” But his words didn’t sting. They sounded like soft summer breezes. He lowered his voice, “I was blown away by your gift. I’ll hang it in my room and k-keep it there. Always.”

  A shiver went down her spine. “I – I’m glad you like it.”

  “I do.” His stare penetrated right through her.

  She felt herself melting like hot butter. “You had a good time. Admit it,” she said.

  He placed both hands on her shoulders and pulled her close. “Yes, I had a good time in spite of myself.” He closed his eyes and pressed his lips firmly against her forehead.

  She smelled his spicy, musky maleness and became intoxicated. She wanted him to kiss her again, this time on the mouth. Instead, he stepped back and held her at arm’s length. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” he murmured. “I won’t forget you after you leave.”

  Her stomach clenched. No, she didn’t want to think about that…

  He pressed another tender kiss on her forehead then gazed at her a moment. “I-I know I was hard on you earlier,” he said, and placed a trembling hand under her chin. Pausing and speaking just above a whisper he said, “Thank you.”

  She felt her throat clog. “I wanted you to feel special for once.”

  He angled his head at her, then moved his fingers into her hair and caressed her long locks. Her entire body prickled. “I did feel special on my worst day of the year. All because of you.” She could feel him closing in on her, even though he didn’t move. Something seemed to leap from him to her – a spark – a hot bolt of electricity that she couldn’t see, but could definitely feel.

  She held her breath, her eyes on his lips.

  “I – it’s best we part now.” His heated eyes didn’t let go. He did slowly drop his hand but not before dragging light fingers down the length of her face.

  She knew it best he leave, but…

  “Sweet dreams, Heaven.” No words had ever sounded so…so what? She felt his smile melt in her heart. He winked at her and turned.

  Heaven watched, with way too much emotion, as he ascended the stairs. How would she ever live without him? She put it out of her mind for now and slowly trudged towards a sleeping Kendra.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The weeks flew by. Heaven wore a lace maternity top in an amber gold that matched her eyes. The black Capri pants and mule type sandals seemed to be a favorite, especially when outdoors. She stretched her legs before the pond in the yard. Francesca, in a crisp yellow linen short set sat beside her.

  Damon rested his back against a tree in the far distance; his dog lounging beside him. He looked laid back and lazy in his green Henley and cut off jeans. The sun hid behind clouds and a gusty, warm wind promised rain. For now, it felt nice to smell the yard, feel the lukewarm breeze, and listen to birds singing in the distance. And it was sweet to see Damon in the distance, guarding her in case of any trouble.

  Heaven turned her attention back to the first female friend she’d had since her escape from captivity. “Nice breeze, isn’t it?”

  “You’re lucky to have these, um, sessions outdoors,” Francesca laughed as she pulled a dandelion from the soil and stared at it. “Girl talk sessions. Damon sure likes when I talk to you. He keeps telling me to come more often.”

  Heaven grinned. “He thinks you’re good for me.”

  “I am.” Francesca laughed, and then lifted her face to the breeze. “It’s so nice out.”

  “I know. I don’t see the outdoors too often.” She chuckled. “Damon won’t allow me outside even with you because he worries,” Somehow it didn’t bother her. In fact, it warmed her. “He told me not to have you over until he gets home from the shelters so he can hang around out here. He’s overprotective. He’ll let us have our girl talk alone, but he wants to make sure nothing happens to me.”

  Francesca’s hand shot up to her face as a breeze blew her hair into her eyes. Heaven did the same as she tried to keep her gaze on her friend.

  “Damon is quite overprotective,” Francesca said, with a grin. Then her smile faded. “Gavin is nobody to mess with, that’s for sure. Damon’s a good person to have on your side.”

  Heaven shuddered, but recovered fast. Gavin hadn’t bothered her since his altercation with Damon, “Damon’s a good friend.” However, the knot in her stomach threatened to betray her. In truth, Damon was starting to mean more than.

  Francesca’s sharp eyes flashed. Had she shown too much?

  “You can’t fool me, Heaven. I’m your friend, but I’m a therapist, too.”

  Heaven avoided looking at her. Her heart raced. Since starting therapy, she avoided profound discussions, yet sometimes Francesca bulldozed her way there anyways, leaving Heaven feeling queasy and anxious before a session.

  “I’m not trying to fool you.” She kicked off her sandals and pushed herself closer to the pond sticking her feet into the water. The cold water made her gasp, but once she got used to it, it felt good.

  Francesca joined her and the two sat in companionable silence.

  “You don’t like to talk about yourself.”

  Heaven didn’t answer.

  “I know you had a wonderful childhood and a great relationship with your parents,” Francesca went on.

  Heaven nodded. And hell since they died, she thought. Everything changed.

  “What happened after you found out about their car accident?” Francesca minced no words today.

  Heaven cringed, looking across at Damon, wishing for his closeness and comfort so she could answer, but he never approached her when she spent time with Francesca.

  May as well answer. Heaven tilted her head back and let the wind flow through her hair. Francesca often asked probing questions. “I’d like to know more so I can be a better friend.”

  Heaven understood. She’d promised Damon she’d try opening up, so she took in a deep breath. Then she spilled out all the details, trying hard not to cry, but shedding some tears anyways. Across the sprawling yard, she caught Damon’s gaze. He stared at her, concerned, she knew. She smiled and flashed him an “A-OK” signal with her fingers. His back leaned back against the tree trunk and he looked away, obviously satisfied that all was well. “Anyways, that’s what happened,” Heaven said, relieved to have finished.

  Francesca nodded warmth in her eyes. “It’s sad your parents died prematurely, Heaven, but you’re lucky in a way. You have a big advantage over many people, including Damon.”

  Not expecting to hear Damon’s name, Heaven turned to Francesca.

  “You had a lot of love before Gavin. It will sustain you. You’ll be able to love again.”


  Heaven fixed her gaze on Damon, who had his hands behind his head, still sitting at the same tree.

  “Damon had it worse,” she agreed, and her heart ached for him. “He doesn’t understand unconditional love.”

  “You do though. Heaven, I really believe you can fall in love with a good man one day.”

  Heaven took a deep breath. “No. I won’t allow it. My child is all I need.” But now that felt like a lie…

  “You’re already half crazy about Damon. It hasn’t escaped my notice.”

  Heaven lifted her knees and hugged them with her arms. She didn’t want to admit it, but… “I don’t know how I feel about him. He’s so – appealing. Attractive. And he can be the sweetest person. But…” her eyes stung, “as much as – I guess you’d call it lust – I’m afraid he’ll hurt me if we get too intimate. I can’t get past that fear.”

  “Say the words, Heaven.” She prodded her. “If you made love?”

  Heaven grimaced. “Yes.”

  Francesca paused and nodded and Heaven looked away. She stretched her legs again, lowered herself onto the grass. She couldn’t get comfortable. This conversation wasn’t comfortable…

  “Would you like to?” Francesca asked, matter-of-factly.

  Looking at Damon again, her body raced to life. “I’d love to touch him – everywhere – but – that’s it. Not inside. It would hurt.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  Heaven lifted her eyes to the heavens. She felt her face heating, but she responded. “I have eyes, Fran. I can see how big he gets when he’s turned on – I can see the bulge. He’s huge. If Gavin hurt, and he was small – it would be excruciating.”

  “You can’t compare your experience with Gavin to how it would probably be with Damon. Have you honestly never thought about making love to Damon?”

  “Well,” Heaven couldn’t help pausing. Her guilty secret was that she had. Her dreams were filled with Damon and making love with him.

  It terrified her.

  “I think about it too much, and it scares me.”

  Francesca paused and Heaven watched her therapist deep in thought. “Gavin and Damon are like night and day. There are ways men can make women enjoy making love, Heaven. You’re confusing rape with making love. Gavin took you against your will. Damon,” she turned and grinned, “I don’t know for sure, but he’d want you to have a good experience, I think.”

  Heaven smiled softly as her gaze again found Damon far in the distance, looking appealing as he relaxed and played with his husky. “What’s it like to be with somebody you love?” Then quickly she jolted. “Was that too personal?”

  Francesca laughed hard. “No, it’s fine. We’re friends too, not just therapist and client.” Her eyes seemed to glimmer every time she talked about Dave. It reminded Heaven of the way her parents had always looked when they spoke of one another to her. The way Francesca seemed to glow gave Heaven a warm feeling in her heart.

  “It’s the ultimate pleasure. And the ultimate expression of love. I can’t tell you how good it feels to experience that sort of oneness with Dave. I fall in love with him all over again. He sweeps me into another world. Hard to explain if you’ve never experienced it, but there’s nothing like it. With the right person, of course.”

  Heaven envied her. “You’re so lucky.”

  “I am. The neatest thing ever was Peter – the product of our love.”

  Heaven suddenly frowned and held her stomach. “Well, this little one isn’t a product of love. I hate Gavin. I wish Damon was the father.” It slipped out before she could scoop it up and force it down her throat. She felt her face glowing red again.

  “He’d be a good father,” Francesca said. She didn’t overreact. “For all his fears, he’d be a wonderful father.”

  “But he disagrees.”

  Francesca sobered. “He has many issues from his past. If he would deal with them, he has more potential than most people on earth.”

  “Maybe I can help him with a few things.”

  Francesca shrugged. “You can certainly try. I think the two of you would be good together. I believe you’re both falling in love with each other, although neither of you will admit it.”

  Heaven froze and let her gaze slide towards Damon again, and a delicious feeling of warmth combined with desire overwhelmed her. She hoped to hell that Francesca was wrong, but she feared that, at least on her part, Francesca had hit the nail on the head.

  Three hours had passed since he’d sat by the tree, watching Heaven talking to Francesca, wishing he could listen in on the session as he sat watching guard lest Gavin appear. Now he stood on his patio, cell phone in hand, staring at his property.

  Heaven sat on a hilly patch of grass with Aiden. She’d dressed in a puffed sleeve red maternity that tied overflowed on white denim shorts. Even from a distance, she looked lovely. He headed in her direction, determined not to take the coward’s way out and turn back. His sleeveless rayon blue jersey and matching shorts weren’t enough defense against a lowering temperature, but he didn’t feel like changing. If Heaven could stand it, so could he.

  As he neared Heaven and Aiden, he thought of how relaxed Heaven had become in these peaceful surroundings. He’d witnessed many steps towards her healing and hoped to see more. A fond smile crossed his face. Only a tough cookie like Heaven could suffer so much abuse and not lose her spirit.

  He certainly hadn’t done as well. Not even close.

  As he came close to them, they must have heard his bare feet tickling the grass because both turned around. Heaven grinned, her eyes lighting to greet him. He plopped in between the two of them, leaning back on his palms, lifting a knee and stretching his other leg out in front of him.

  Aiden jumped to his feet. “Damon, since you don’t need me to watch Heaven anymore, I have to call a girl.”

  Damon laughed with derision. “Another one?”

  Aiden caught his eyes and smiled. “Unlike you, I don’t live like a Monk. No apologies.” He strode away with a confident swagger.

  Damon glanced over his shoulder at his brother, then turned forward and shook his head. “I was never like him,” he grumbled, pretending exasperation.

  Heaven swept her wheat-colored lashes towards him, and then cringed in mock horror. “Uh oh. You mussed up your hair. Something must be bothering you. Is it Aiden?”

  She seemed to know all his idiosyncrasies. Well, no point in denying it. “Not Aiden. I just got off the phone with my Toronto contact, Mark Eastwick.” He sounded matter-of-fact, although he didn’t feel it. His gaze fixed on the far off willow trees. “If you want t-to go to Toronto before the baby’s born, it’s all set. There’s housing, a job, a good hospital – and you’d be far away from Gavin.” His nails dug in the grass behind him as he awaited her response.

  “Gavin won’t get me as long as I’m staying here with you.” Her voice was serene, confident. She spoke with such belief in him that he wanted to grab her and devour her right then and there. She trusted him and he cherished that with all his heart.

  “I hope I live up t-to your faith in me.” He remembered failing his mother, than dismissed the thought, at least for now.

  Heaven lowered her long, leggy frame to the ground. .Unintentionally, her gently swelling belly brushed against his thigh before she could pull back.

  Almost immediately he was aroused and forced to avert his eyes from her erotic form. “Why wouldn’t you want t-to leave right now?” It was imperative to encourage her departure. Duty commanded it. But he didn’t really want her to go.

  “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

  “No!” He stared at her. “You can stay for a while. It’s up to you.” Although it best she leave, he couldn’t bear going back to his barren life, not just yet. The laughter would leave when she did.

  “I like it here.” Her passion surprised and pleased him. “Francesca is helping me more than I ever dreamed. She’s a great friend. Also, I love working with Kendra.” She grinned at him. �
�I enjoy our friendship too—yours and mine.”

  Damon grinned. “Francesca is a good friend. No more nightmares.”

  “Oh, I still have nightmares, just not as bad or often.” She smiled at him, but not happily. “Gavin is still on my mind a lot too. I’m much better, but hardly over it.”

  He wanted her to elaborate, but she didn’t.

  After waiting a few seconds, he said, “All right. Just until the baby’s born. After that…” After that, to save both of them, she’d have to leave. He couldn’t want her this much, care for her this much, yet not have her. He also couldn’t bond with a baby he could never raise.

  As if reading his thoughts, as it often seemed she did, her eyes focused on his. “Do I have to leave?”

  Her words struck him in the gut. He leaned back, resting on his forearms, a knife slicing through him.

  “I’d like to stay.” She spoke close to his ear, her words tickling him and daring him.

  Damon felt his heart hammering against his chest. “You’d like to stay? Forever?” He laughed uneasily, trying to make a joke of it.

  “Sure. Work with Kendra. Hang out here. It’s nice.”

  “No.” The word echoed through his head. It killed him, but he couldn’t say otherwise. “We need t-to separate.”

  “Because why?” He felt her brushing errant hairs behind his ear and the air left his lungs. “Am I such a pain?” she teased.

  “No. I like having you here.” He turned towards her, falling into the warmth of her smile, a smile that could melt the coldest heart. And his heart wasn’t cold. “Nothing c-can come of our friendship. You know that. We have t-too many issues between us. And the attraction – in case you don’t know – is killing me.”

  She didn’t look surprised or even that disappointed. She knew.

  “What if we didn’t have these issues, Damon? Do you think we’d be together?”

  The question struck him like a bolt of lightening. He inhaled deeply and cast his gaze far off. She was tearing him apart. He shrugged. “I d-don’t think about what can never be. I hope you find some worthy man in Canada.”